Thoughts With Sharp Edges

Is there a way (bonus points if I can do it on my palm TX) to take an equation with 3 variables, plug in 2 of them (which are different every time) and have a program tell me what the third variable is?  It seems like I should be able to do this.  I went to the doctor yesterday, and my insulin was changed from one that was on a set dosage, to one that changes every time depending on what my blood sugar is and how many carbs I am eating.  So, three times a day I am doing this formula, and there has to be an easier way.  This is the formula.  I will know the blood glucose level and carbs each time.

G = Blood Glucose level
C= number of carbs eaten at meal
B= Bolus amount

[(G-130)/7] + (C/2) = B

Thanks in advance if anyone knows anything!!

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Rough draft of letter I am writing to the Commissioner of the county social services because of the phone interview I had with the food stamps lady yesterday. Do NOT treat me like garbage, and like you are better than me, and ignore the law, and expect to get away with it. Copies of this letter are going to all the Disability agencies that work with me, and I haven't decided where else yet. I am not quite finished doctoring it up yet - still a rough draft.

Letter:

 

( Read letter here: )

 

so, who else had trouble finding accessible places to vote today? Or was it just me? I went to the place I have voted for the past 5 years, since I have been living here, and there was nobody there! The Independent Living Center always has this multi-accessible voting machine, and I didn't know where to go. My mom was bringing me, and we ended up just going to the place on my voter's card, which was a disaster. I liked the machine at the ILC. It had a touch screen, and options just came up one at a time, so I could understand them. I definitely knew that I was choosing the option that I wanted to choose. That regular voting machine, with all the switches, Gah- so confusing. My mother just kept saying, "just switch all the levers on the top line." Ok fine, but I wanted to READ the things too. Not just pull switches without reading them. The place I voted at did have a machine that was supposed to be accessible, but when they asked me if I wanted to use it, it was asked to me kind of like, "Well, if you want to use it, we can set it up, but you really don't need it." And it was different than the one I was used to, so I would have had to had someone show me how to use it, and these guys didn't know how to use it either. At the Independent Living Center, the people there knew we had disabilities. They didn't tell you how to vote, but they made sure you knew how to use the machine before you started the voting part of it. I am STILL stressed out over this, and the whole election is over. I feel so damned powerless and stupid. Like, it said, choose 3 selections, and I couldn't even figure out from the stupid thing where the people's names were. At least I got to vote for the President. That was the most important thing to me. The local things were important too, but I just couldn't understand them or how to make the machine work. The last time I tried to use a regular voting machine, (the first election after my coma), I studied the model of the machine outside of the booth. Then I went in to vote and discovered that the actual machine was set up completely different. The model went across and the booth went up and down.

I don't know what happened, but I feel very let down and disappointed. I have a headache. I am not even writing in sentences anymore. I need to go to bed. Maybe I won't feel like such a loser tomorrow.

ok so several months ago I developed a rash from my medic alert necklace chain and even after switching to a better quality chain, it didn't get better. So I stopped wearing it. I have been meaning to get a new one, but just haven't gotten another one. I have been wearing the dog tag on my backpack, but doubt if I had a seizure or low blood sugar in public that EMS would even think to look at the outside zipper area of my backpack.

I have been thinking about getting one of those USB flash drive bracelets, with the medical symbol, but they are so expensive. Some of them are over 40 dollars and don't even hold that much. Maybe 512 MB. Crazy. Just because it has a medical symbol on it. And it comes pre-programmed with some medical form to fill out. I don't have that kind of money to spend on a medical alert.

So today, at Target, I found (please don't laugh, or at least laugh with me) a Hannah Montana 1G USB flash drive bracelet on clearance for $3.49. OK, so it is purple with a picture of Hannah Montana on it. I can work with that. I actually just printed out two address labels with my name and main conditions and "USB flash drive bracelet, full med info" on it until I figure out something better. I added two files to it - my emergency page, my medicine page, and now I can't think of what else should be in here. These are the two pages I always carry in my wallet. But now I have all this space!

Also, do EMS (ambulance) workers and emergency room workers really have access to computers, and would they really look up my medical info in an emergency? And what format should it be in? It is in MS Word now, but up to now it has been in paper form, so it didn't matter. I can make it in more than one format easy, but don't know what is a universal format. PDF? plain text?

If anyone has any other suggestions, I would be glad to hear them. Thanks in advance.

Btw, I just looked, and the Target web site has the bracelets listed as 7.99, so the price I got must have been at the local store, not the web.

(crossposted)

Your result for The Where in America Do You Belong Test...

West Coast

31% Independent, 36% Traditional, 50% Liberal, 45% Aggressive

Take The Where in America Do You Belong Test at HelloQuizzy

I love how a whole bunch of people (11 so far) felt the need to seek out my LJ and leave comments for me, even though I already left the group. you all win. i cannot compete with all of your coolness and whatnot. i concede. you are cool and i am not. you win. i do not belong in your group of coolness. i have walked away and stopped arguing with anyone, and am just saying my thoughts to myself in my own journal. not in a public forum or group. it is one thing to get angry at something someone says in public. it is another to respond to something they say when they don't think anyone else is listening and they can vent all they want. if you are reading this, you had to seek it out.

I am not fucking "ageist" because I will not take part in a feeding frenzy of hate. Sorry. Just because I am older than you are, does not mean it is about age. And yes, I do think it is a generational thing. There are ways to say things to people without being mean. I don't understand why people think it is fun to be rude and mean and to hurt other people. I guess I have never understood this. Generally, people who are self-confident, and are happy with who they are, do not feel the need to bully other people. It's when Dad beats up Mom, then the kids witness it and Mom starts drinking to deal with it, and the kids get neglected, and then poor Sparky doesn't get fed and gets kicked around, and little Lisa starts bullying her classmates at school, where this stuff comes from. Or from parents who give their kids so much STUFF, but they work and let the kids raise themselves basically on TV and My Space. Nobody knows who they are anymore, or what is important to them. Only that in order to laugh, or feel good, they have to make someone else feel bad and cry.

You guys are pathetic.

Losers.

Get back to me in 20 years after you have had to actually live.

i was at my sister's house last night. she told me my niece got her helix double pierced. She said R got studs put into them, she picked out and brought with her. The place (not where I get mine done, and where they took her when she got her navel pierced - my piercer is great and would never have agreed to that) let her bring in her own studs. I was not happy. I told my sister studs should not be used for piercing healing because of swelling, but she said she got it done over a week ago and it was fine. Then she said she didn't care. If it got infected, R would just have to take it out. She said it was not true that if you took the piercing out it wouldn't heal right. She was a doctor and knew best. She also did not like the way hoops or bars looked and didn't want her daughter wearing them. She can tolerate studs but not hoops or bars.

(Insert a lot of swearing here.)

My thoughts: If you are going to allow your daughter to get pierced, at least allow her to get healed properly. She admitted that she WANTS her to get infected so she will have to remove the piercings.

I am pissed. At my sister. And at the piercing place for putting STUDS in a cartilage piercing. My sister wouldn't even listen to reason. Nope. She wants the piercings to get infected or have problems so R will have to take them out. I am hopping mad.

Besides, this just makes my sister more than a little judgmental and intolerant, and makes me feel like she is looking down on ME as well. I wear fraking HOOPS.

I feel like scum for even trying to care.

I am a Snapdragon What Flower Are You?

A few weeks ago I had to do a destructive restore on my computer to get rid of a really bad virus.  Everything is running fine now, except there are a few things I want to download and install that require Service Pack 2.  I remember when I originally bought my computer I had a problem installing it.  It caused serious problems, and I had to get tech support from HP to help me uninstall it, then install some other files, then reinstall it so it would work.  Well, that was over 3 years ago, and my computer is no longer under warranty or service plan or whatever, and I can't figure this out on my own.  Service Pack 2 just won't install at all.  I get this error message:

Installation Failure

Error Code: 0x80242FFF

 I seriously can't remember what I had to do back then, and I have been trying to google what I need to do, but I can't find it.  If anyone has any clue, I would be seriously grateful. 

I have:

HP Pavilion a520n computer

windows XP

Verizon DSL

Trend_Micro PC-Cillin

well, I had this virus on my desktop computer that I could not get rid of (even with a lot of asking around for help, and a lot of programs and virus removal tools), so I decided to just use the system restore and start clean.  I now have a clean computer, and am in the process of installing my software again.  The problem is that I can't get my internet to work.  I have two computers - a desktop and a laptop.  Once I got the virus, I never connected or turned on my laptop because I didn't want it to get infected.  So it is fine.  And it is still connected.  I am using it now.  But I can't get my desktop reconnected to the Internet.   I tried to follow the directions from the control panel where it told me how to add a connection by using a travel drive (there is another name, but I can't think of it - the memory stick thing, you know what I mean?) but that did not work.  I tried calling Linksys, who helped me set up the connection in the first place, and the man i talked to was not helpful.  he was condescending and rude, and told me to call Verizon.  He didn't give me enough time to do what he was asking me to do, even after I explained to him that I had a disability and needed a minute.  But that is neither here nor there now.  I am not stupid, but I feel plenty stupid, because I can't figure this out.  It should be simple to just add my desktop back. 

Anyway here is what I have:

both computers running XP

modem Westell 2200

router Linksys WRT54G

If anyone can give me some help, or even suggest a webpage, I would be very appreciative.  Thank you!

I really need some help.  I have a virus, or trojan, or something, and I can't get rid of it.  This message keeps appearing on my computer, and I don't know what to do anymore.  I have tried following the directions from Trend Micro (did not work), tried several different online directions to get rid of it, and none of them worked either.  None of them can even FIND the stupid thing.  The only one that can seem to find it is Adaware 2007, which says it has fixed it, but it hasn't.  Adaware 2007 cannot run in safe mode.  I have run all the other things in safe mode, and system restore has been turned off since I found this thing.  Anyone else have a suggestion as to what I can try?  Oh, I have even tried an older version of Adaware, which CAN run in safemode, but that didn't work, as it didn't detect it.  Meanwhile, I can't use my laptop, or hotsync my palm because I don't want either to be infected.  Please help!!!!!!!

Ok, I have tried like 15 times to put this picture behind a cut, and I just cannot seem to do it.  Yes, I do have a Traumatic Brain Injury, and no I am not stupid.  I am just really tired, and it isn't coming to me tonight.  If you have a problem with it, please don't be snarky with me.  If you can either explain to me how to do it, or point me in the right direction, I will be happy to fix it when my brain is less tired and I can practice it a few more times.  Thanks !!  :)  I did figure out how to at least make the picture tiny, and you can click it to see it bigger.

Well, I found out yesterday that I have mono.  I am now in what they call the "recovery" phase.  This could take awhile for me to be completely better, because I have Lupus, and I simply heal slowly from stuff.  I was at the doctor's office a week ago, in tears, telling her, "something is wrong with me!"  I was just SOOOO tired, and achy, and my blood sugars were insanely high (in the 400+ range.)  Doctor did a quick exam and asked me if I had ever had mono.  That was the last thing I would have ever thought of.  Mono.  I had it when I was 17.  I thought once you had it, you couldn't get it again, but she said now they know that you can.  So now I am thinking, okay, how does a person have mono and NOT know it?  Maybe because I already have Lupus, and it can cause some of the same symptoms.  So just being extra tired, and having swollen glands and sore throat, I just thought was the usual Lupus stuff.  I am still getting tired really quickly.  Doing one chore, or going one place tires me out and I need to rest.  But it is getting better.  Slowly.

I also have had my insulin changed twice in the last week.  Levemir wasn't working for me, so my diabetes doc changed me to Novalog Mix.  That worked beautifully, but I started having asthma with it.  So then she took me off that and put me on Humalog Mix.  It is still working, but I am still having asthma.  Might take awhile to get the insulin thing fixed.  But my numbers are almost where they are supposed to be.  Fasting is between 98 and 150.  That is down from between 350 and 450.  So, not perfect yet, but much much better. 

Then, yesterday, my right leg was swollen and painful, so I asked the doctor about it while I was there.  Since it was the same leg that I had the DVT in 5 years ago, she was concerned.  Especially since I was having asthma at the time.  (Was it asthma, or a PE?)  So, I had every medical test known to man done on me.  Not really.  They did a pulse-ox, which was 94%, and pretty good for someone having asthma.  Also an EKG, which was fine, a blood test for some kind of clotting thing in my blood (called d-dimer and I haven't had that test before, not one of my routine tests,) and then a doppler ultrasound test on my right leg to actually look for a blood clot.  Results - no clot.  Just asthma and a strained muscle.  I feel foolish, but I guess once you have had DVT, they always cry wolf and put you through the tests if you start having symptoms again.  But that is better than dying!

Note to Joe - my sister called me and told me that her toilet is no longer plugged up.  Evidently the chicken eventually just went down on its own.

Note to anyone who cares - Do not flush chicken.  Even if it is decomposing in your crock pot sitting out on the kitchen counter for the last 4 days.

Quick background:  I have Lupus (cns involvement, epilepsy etc.), diabetes, and am a 5 year survivor of a hypoxic brain injury (also a roundabout effect of Lupus).  I just found out that I have had mono for a few weeks and am now in the "recovery" phase, which could last awhile.  I have been cooking things that are easy, relatively healthy, and that can be cooked in large amounts, then frozen in individual portions for simple microwave meals later on.  Everyone gave me great suggestions when I asked about this before.

My new question is about meatballs or meatloaf, which always seem the same to me, just the shape (and one is in sauce, one isn't.)  I have never mastered the art of meatballs (loaf.)  I asked one of my workers today, and she said she makes "cheater's" meatloaf by using stove-top stuffing instead of bread crumbs and seasoning.  I was full of questions - does it taste good?  how many eggs?  how much milk or water?  what is the ratio of meat to stuffing if I want to make a LOT?  She wasn't really sure about all of my questions.  She says she uses a small thing of ground beef to one box of stuffing with 2 eggs.  If it is dry, she adds milk.  I want to use a 5 lb thing of ground beef and some ground pork, and make meatloaf and meatballs out of the same mix.  I also have veggies to add to the meatloaf. 

Has anyone ever tried this?  How did it work?  I don't expect it obviously to be the same as homemade chef Italian meatballs or anything, but if this shortcut is even remotely good, I want to try it.

Does anyone else have any other suggestions for meatballs or meatloaf for me?  Mine always fall apart in the oven, and are always more like meat mush than meatloaf.  Taste ok, but not pretty.  And my meatballs always turn into meat sauce in the crock pot.  I like meat sauce.  But not when I am trying to make meatballs.

I went to the doctor today, and now she thinks I might have mono, on top of everything else.  I am just SO tired, all I want to do is sleep.  My blood sugar is out of control because I just don't have the energy to cook (or clean) anything.  All I have been eating is anything I can microwave, or if my boyfriend takes me out to eat on his days off.  Really unhealthy.  I have a freezer full of food, just lack any energy to actually cook it.  I do have a home health aid that can help me two days a week, so I was wondering if anyone would be willing to suggest recipes (preferably easy ones) that can be cooked and then frozen in individual servings, and heated up later.  I also have a crock pot, which I love using.  I have the stuff on hand to make chili, and also macaroni with ground beef and sauce.  But I also have lots of chicken and sausage and ground beef in the freezer waiting to be used.  I am disabled, but like I said, my aid can help me, and I can get to the store for ingredients when she is here.  Maybe this is a no-brainer, but I can't even think lately, and seeing my blood tests today made me realize I need to eat something healthy.  I am also going to look for communities for cooking and freezing, but if anyone knows of one (or more) please let me know.  I have cross posted this to a few places I read, where I get good information - I think it is relevant to all the places I am posting, in one way or another, but if it isn't, please feel free to delete.

Thank you.

I was in the mall today and walking by the calendar kiosk, noticed a sign that all calendars were $4.00.  It is still halfway through January, and I have family with birthdays this month, (and haven't even bought myself a 2008 calendar yet,) so I decided to browse through them.  I found a cute basset hound one for my mom, and was looking for one with birds for myself or a Stargate one for my sister.  I didn't find those, but I did find a Battlestar Galactica one, which I grabbed.  It has some cool pictures in it (totally not enough of Starbuck, in my opinion,) but it isn't very useful if you really want to use it as an actual calendar because the dates are printed in a small font and kind of light.  But that is what I use my PDA for.  I just use a hanging calendar to occasionally glance at to see what the date is.  Oh, and the page with the date part of the calendar (not the picture part) are shaded so it appears the corners are cut off.  Kinda cool. 

Anyway, here is a link from someplace online, where they are NOT $4.00, but I don't have a scanner.  Just wanted to let you all see the pics, if you haven't seen the calendar yet. 

http://www.marketworks.com/storefrontprofiles/processfeed.aspx?sfid=118864&i=235508212&mpid=9210&dfid=1

And I am crossposting this to a couple of places.  If it isn't appropriate, please feel free to delete.  Just thought someone might like a good deal on a BSG calendar.

Here are some pics of Joe's tattoo, and another pic of my bee, after I showered this morning.  The wings look even better today!  The blue shading in the wings looks so cool today.  I couldn't see it yesterday.

I got my orbital finished today.  I thought Paul (at Needlewurks in Saratoga, if you are ever in need of a piercing in the Saratoga area, go see Paul - he is the BEST) , was going to just put in the second piercing and let it heal separately from the first one, and then in another 3 months take out both pieces of jewelry and put in the orbital.  But he said he could put in the second piercing and the orbital today, all at once.  Yay!!  I know, some piercers do both holes in one day, and put the orbital jewelry in that same day.  But because I have diabetes and Lupus, Paul wanted me to do it in 2 steps.  And because he is a professional and experienced piercer, and I am not, I respected his judgment, and did it that way.  It looks really cool. 

Then Joe and I also got tattoos today.  He got this really cool triskel with red jewels on it, on his arm.  I don't have a picture of it yet.  I got a tiny bee, on the back of my neck.  My first name means honeybee, so that is why I chose a bee.  I really like it.  I didn't want a mean looking bee.  Most of the ones I found were mean looking.  I wanted a happy, cute one.  And I didn't want one with wings that looked like fly wings.  Gross disgusting insect fly wings.  I mean, I realize a bee IS an insect, but I didn't want to wear fly wings on my body for the rest of my life.  So Joe (the tattoo artist's name was Joe also) drew up a bee with different wings, and these are so cute.  Almost look like fairy wings. 

Anyway here are some pics.  Let me know what you think.